I remember him vividly, and yet if you asked me to describe him I couldn’t. His face… mannerisms… accent… none of these stand out in my mind or even seem to have been real. But this is not helping you is it… no I thought not… very well I will begin with what I can remember and then maybe between us we can fathom the meaning of it all.
I remember walking, not walking anywhere in particular just walking. The rain was thick and seemed to be coming from all angles. The puddles on the street reflected the neon signs such that the whole world seemed to melt into one garish scene. The different windows I passed each hawked their wares or “services” into the street.
The women on show each flaunted and gyrated whatever they each thought they had against the glass. Each window showed more and more flesh. I took as much interest as I could through the rain and then continued on down the street. If I had paused for longer maybe I wouldn’t be here now, talking to you…. As I said I was walking down the street which was fast becoming a river when I decided to enter the next place I found. I remember the sign above the door; it was one of the few places, which didn’t have a neon sign or some-“thing” in the window. Instead the window was blacked out and the sign simply said “ENTER?” above the door.
You see…what?..... yes, I did wonder about the question mark, but it was raining hard by now and so I thought no more of it as I approached the doorman. He stuck out in my mind, a large brutish man with a scowl that you could have hammered out of stone. He wore a long black trenchcoat against the rain and it seemed to hang from his shoulders in an awkward way. As though he wore a bag on his back under it, causing the coat to bunch around his shoulder blades. Still he just watched as I approached and only seemed to manage an uncomfortable shuffle when I passed him to reach the door.
Sorry… no I can’t describe his face… I don’t… I mean I…
Still I remember passing through the door and into the bar. The room was dank, not dark but that special kind of gloom that can only be achieved by a scant number of lights attempting to illuminate shadows which want no part of the bargain. The ceiling housed a few large fans, which spun lazily and only managed to cause large spiral patterns in the smoke which hung thick in the air. I remember moving toward the bar and being greeted very curtly by the barmen.
“What do you want?” he spat at me, the man’s face was a patchwork of scars. I remember being a little worried at this but the thought of going out in that rain pressed me to try something.
“erm, nice place you’ve got here” I tried this because I was trying to find my wallet in my soaked clothes. So I thought stalling a little couldn’t hurt.
The barman managed to move his face so that the scars formed a crude smile… it was not pleasant.
“heh, yeah just set down a spell and get a good look round…. Take it all in…., then if one of the regulars kills you hell won’t be as a big a shock” the smile disappeared as soon as he’d finished then he folded his arms and growled
“Now, what do you want?”
By this point a few of the people at the bar had stopped to look in our direction and so in the toughest voice I could muster I said
“Something to take the chill out” the barman turned to someone further down the bar and shouted what I assumed to be my drink order
“Two shots of rot in a bucket and fuck the rocks!”
It seems weird that I can remember all this clearly but then I can’t remember your guy’s face. So anyway I sat down and my drink arrived. The tumbler that arrived stunk of cheap whiskey, and the warmth above the glass told me that this was the kind of drink designed to get a person numb quickly. The barman took two dollars and then left me sat with my drink.
You see this is where it starts getting blurry. I remember that I was alone at the end of the bar, I remember it because I was looking round the place. The people around me were all alone, they all stared into their drinks and not one seemed to move the whole time I was there. Which only makes the guy who appeared next me even more surreal…
I mean what I said… yes the guy just appeared… no, no… I mean I turned around and I was looking at the bar. Then I turn back and the guy is there, stood next to me at the bar as though he’s always been there. Obviously I was a bit, well worried to be frank, but hell I figured I must just not have noticed him… no I told you I can’t remember what he looked like, how many times do I have to explain this...
So as I was trying to explain, I’m sat at the bar and this…. Person… is next to me. I remember him being large, not tall but large. He was wearing dark colours and must have had long hair because I always seem to think of something passing in front of his eyes.